1. |
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Heaven help me, I’ve gone crazy
I don’t know how to tell you
In an old handheld pocket mirror
I have noticed that I am see through
There’s a growing gap in my body
I didn’t feel anything at first
So I’ve been picking at the edges
The hole is as big as the entire world
You would never understand
And even if you did
Oh you’re precious gods
Couldn’t help me with any of this
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2. |
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You’ve never asked about my hands
why I always clench all things that are broken
like a heart in pieces or a shard of glass,
I hold it tight
until it cuts
and I feel right
If I could just shave off another piece of myself
Would you
Watch me fall apart
Right in front of your eyes
‘cause I can’t hate myself
Into a different shape
And fall apart
Right in front of your eyes
I can’t hate myself
Into a different shape
Remember the birthday dinner for your prettiest friend
I’ve never tried harder to not be myself
So yet again my fist it squeezed
shattered glass, but you don’t see
The cut is shaped like her, it bleeds
stronger, better, more complete
But I’ll never be like her
If I could just shave off another piece of myself
Would you
Watch me fall apart
Right in front of your eyes
‘cause I can’t hate myself
Into a different shape
And fall apart
Right in front of your eyes
I can’t hate myself
Into a different shape
fall apart
Right in front of your eyes
‘cause I can’t hate myself
Into a different shape
And fall apart
Right in front of your eyes
I can’t hate myself
Into a different shape
Watch me fall apart
‘Cause I won’t hate myself
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3. |
baleen feeder
03:54
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I’ve been quieter
Baleen feeder slow
Now I’m swimming towards you through
oil spills and fishing boats
When I peak my head out of the salty sea
The skies are violet
I’m a little scared of everything
Just be patient
I’m usually okay being alone
Slow dancing in the deep
But I’m craving connection now
The ocean is too empty
When I peak my head out of the salty sea
The skies are violet
Please tell me If I’m graceful
Just be honest
I wish I didn’t care what you think of me
I wish I didn’t care what you think of me
I wish I didn’t care what you think of me
If you find me swimming close to shore
I’m just looking for reassurance
That I am open eyed
I’m beautiful
I am not a burden
And I peak my head out of the salty sea
you’re standing on the beach
Please tell me, if I don’t reappear
Your tears, will they be real?
I wish I didn’t care what you think of me
(I really wish I didn’t care)
I wish I didn’t care what you think of me
(I really wish I didn’t care)
I wish I didn’t care what you think of me
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4. |
favorite day of the week
03:42
|
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I am gonna be
completely honest with you
I was just really tired
It just happened to be
my favorite day of the week
Accidentally at least
I hurt your feelings
I hurt your feelings
You know I’m guarded
I know you
You keep your walls up
like I do
I’ll try and be brave enough to tell you
That I miss you all the goddamn time
I miss you when I am sleeping
I miss you when I’m awake
Babe you had another thing coming
If that is all you think I could take
‘Caused I’ve been pining over you
Even in my fantasies
We were living in a cabin
Where the forest meets the sea
And I miss you all the goddamn time
I am gonna be
completely honest with you
Sorry that I’ve been immature
Like when you texted me
That we made no guarantees
Accidentally at least
I caught these feelings
I caught these feelings
You know I’m guarded
I know you
You keep your walls up
like I do
I’ll l try and be brave enough to tell you
That I miss you all the goddamn time
I miss you when I am sleeping
I miss you when I’m awake
Babe you had another thing coming
If that is all you think I could take
‘Caused I’ve been pining over you
Even in my fantasies
We were living in a cabin
Where the forest meets the sea
And I miss you all the goddamn time
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5. |
lonely is beauty
02:33
|
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She is all I could need
Everyone else
Makes me feel lonely
Like the fox’s eyes that we found by the roadside
I don’t know why you cried about that
But it makes me ache inside
oh
If we’re at the end
then will it hurt for the first time
Everyone will have to surrender
I don’t wanna live a lie
I am always hurting still
It’s doing this all the time
And it happens every year
And That’s When i Lost my mind
She is all I could need
Everyone else
Makes me feel lonely
Like the fox’s eyes that we found by the roadside
I don’t know what to say about that
But it makes me ache inside
oh
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6. |
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Poison
fizzing on a tongue
Poison
your sweet sweet sting
I was so small
I only knew how to shrink
blurring out the edges
Is his only decent trick
Poison
I couldn’t leave the floor
Praised my body
What else is he good for?
A bone collector’s been waiting at the entrance
When I am finished resisting myself
I will be beaten senseless
so full of mundane aches
this is my slowest pace
a beautiful recording
of five years going to waste
Poison
saccharine and plump
Eggshell fragment
stuck under his glove
I will shriek ceremoniously through the streets
When poetry’s become my sole accomplice
so full of mundane aches
this is my slowest pace
a beautiful recording
of five years going to waste
I’m never gonna give him what he wants
I’m never gonna give him what he wants
I’m never gonna give him what he wants
Give me what I want
I’m never gonna give him what he wants
I’m never gonna give him what he wants
I’m never gonna give him what he wants
I’m never gonna give him what he wants
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7. |
hey amanda
03:56
|
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I can still remember sitting
in my room on the floor
you had just turned 11
so had I three weeks before
we’d be on the landline talking,
my dad yelled from down the hall
to just invite you over
and get off the phone
I would bike to your house
or you would come to mine
And even though that’s long ago
I’m still here all the time
Hey Amanda, sometimes your heart is full
of ache and pain and overwhelm
and all the times you’ve been misunderstood
When we were 10 I tied a string to you
and it still holds today
You’re across an ocean
But I’ll keep calling you to say
Keep going
even though it’s hard
to even breathe and be alive
but I’m still your friend,
and you can always cry
if you want to
If you want to
You taught me all the dance routines
That you had learned in class
And when you started playing the guitar
Oh man, I was so impressed
And I still am after everything that you’ve been through
In my heart we’re still kids
Messing around just like we used to
Hey Amanda, sometimes your heart is full
of ache and pain and overwhelm
and all the times you’ve been misunderstood
When we were 10 I tied a string to you
and it still holds today
You’re across an ocean
But I’ll keep calling you to say
Keep going
even though it’s hard
to even breathe and be alive
but I’m still your friend,
and you can always cry
if you want to
If you want to
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8. |
straight into traffic
02:29
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Took a step to walk straight into traffic
it was barely morning
Used to always feel that life was only terrifying
Everything was hollow
And I felt so lonely
If I could only tell her
The girl I used to be
The world it has the harshest need
to change you and your dreams
But darling don’t give in
You’re allowed to breathe
You were made to feel and cry
and sing and be alive
Don’t give in, love
You’re more than enough
more than enough
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9. |
this weeks laundry
04:33
|
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I’ve divided this weeks laundry into three separate piles
I’ve been doing it in silence this whole time
I just now realized
so I put on some some new record
one i probably should like
But it seems my level of disinterest
We’ll now
It is pretty high
Can’t you tell?
I’ve been working on improving
I’ve been working on myself
I put on foundation for my trip across the street
I am getting a new bag of frozen beans
‘cause that’s a good way to sneak some greens into a meal
although fresh would be ideal
I’ve lost 10 pounds counting calories
skipping lunch in secrecy
so that later I could have another beer
with you
Can’t you tell?
I’ve been working on improving
I’ve been working on myself
There’s this little hole in the wall right by my bed
I’ve been chipping off the paint and then the concrete with my nails
But I’m not trying to plot my escape from a prison cell
What would I even run from - I’m already a free woman
Can’t you tell?
Can’t you tell?
Can’t you tell,
I’ve been working on improving
I’ve been working on myself
Can’t you tell?
Can’t you tell,
I’ve been working on improving
I’ve been working on myself
all the excess I’m consuming
I swear it benefits my health
Help me remember
what was the weather like
yesterday with squinty eyes
I have no complaints
O Can’t you tell, Can’t you tell?
even my plants are doing well
save for the cactus on the shelf
though he thrives on neglect
I guess we all make mistakes sometimes
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10. |
like a wedding
00:47
|
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at the end of my life
It will be like a wedding
the cherry without the stem
and no more inhibitions
kissing death hello
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11. |
hurting me for fun
05:00
|
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So many rounds of this
And yet again it’s time for me I
Have to pull myself up by my hair
How do they do this everyday
I’m not cut out to keep it up
My knuckles crack through the first layer skin
In the dry winter air
Was that three minutes now?
Can I please lay down?
And just imagine your firm grip around me
Like a python around me
I get bored so quickly
Thank god you like hurting me for fun
Make me feel something
Just wanna feel something
A burning silhouette
A skipped beat or a song
Anything at all
Anything at all
Uh
I get bored so quickly
Thank god you like hurting me for fun
Make me feel something
Just wanna feel something
A burning silhouette
A skipped beat or a song
Anything at all
Anything at all
Anything at all
Make me feel something
Make me feel
Make me feel
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Brimheim Malmö, Sweden
Crafting lyricism with candid veracity, Brimheim’s brand of indie rock provides the unexpected
yet catchy.
Articulate phrases run their nails along her day-to-day attempts to decipher the ‘how to’ of happiness. Naturally, an underlying current of anxiety undulates throughout, but occasional flowerings of hope and humor offer a welcome and
contrasting fragrance.
... more
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